Maintaining interesting conversation
One of the greatest advantages of dating online is that we’ve already had the chance to chat before we’ve met face-to-face. We already have an idea what interests this person and maybe what they’ve done with their lives.
Online dating sites can make us think we’re safe in assuming that once we go on the first ‘real’ date, conversation will flow – but not always.
It’s natural to be nervous on a first date – and nerves are the great enemy of easy, natural conversation. So if you already have been chatting to your potential new love online in a singles chat room, then before you head out on that all-important first date, make a mental note of what he or she has told you about themselves.
Conventionally, many first dates take place at a coffee shop, but next time you arrange a date, think outside the square a little. Try a more casual and engaging environment like ten pin bowling or putt putt golf. Go for a bush walk perhaps and stop for lunch in the National Park, try something more interesting than the standard first date coffee shop.
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So picking the venue for your first date is important, especially if you feel you won’t win any awards for conversation starters.
The art of conversing is a two-way street. If you see your date has stalled in the chatting game, then it’s time to take over the driving. Ask them questions about themselves and be interested in the answers. Use what you already know about them from when you first met in the singles chat room.
Be forthcoming with who you are as a person, we all love when someone opens up to us, especially on a date when we are trying our best to assess the other persons characteristics – make it easy for your date, show them who you really are.
It’s always wise to restrain yourself from being too opinionated about touchy subjects such as religion or race issues. Show your date your easy going and open minded self before you blast them with your pent up views about what’s wrong with the world.
When you’re talking, end your comments by asking what you’re date thinks on the matter – in other words, draw them in. Avoid monopolizing the talk and ask open ended questions.
Bonny Albo, a writer who has focused on online dating matters, sums up the art of conversation with these words: “Concentrate on adopting your own experiences and interweaving them in with the other individuals answers. By doing so you will be formulating a connection with the individual, producing hooks of information with which to initiate a conversation at a future moment.”
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